Part of my challenge is living in the past. Thinking about things I should have done a bit differently. To wit, there are at least two key moments in my life that I messed up (there's many more, but who's counting? Hint: I am).
Both were meetings that were set up for me by family in Hollywood. One was with Amblin Entertainment (Spielberg's company) and the other was with Disney. Pretty big meetings with pretty important people.
To give some context around this, this was in the nineties and I was in my twenties. I had arrived in LA about a year before, and was making more money than I thought possible working as an assistant propmaster on some very big commercials. I was traveling around the country, had fallen into a very nice gig, and was dumb enough to think that money was burning a hole in my pocket. Dumb enough to think life was good.
So when I took these meetings, I didn't have the right mindset. I wasn't leaning in and I wasn't nearly as eager as I should have been. I had a 'take it or leave it' attitude.
Which is the kiss of death. Instead of being scrappy and living with a 'by any means necessary' attitude, instead of saying outright 'I'll do whatever it takes to get this gig', I played it cool. Too cool for school.
Gratitude is an interesting animal. If it's at the front of how you carry yourself, it will kick open doors. If it's forgotten, it will eat away your opportunity. And though I was polite and professional, I didn't truly understand the moment. Gratitude and excitement should have won the day. Instead, it took a backseat to my own hubris. The Disney job? It wasn't offered to me and wasn't a good fit anyway.
The Amblin job? I could have had that one. I would have had to take a HUGE paycut and start at the bottom rung again. I would've had to show some crazy incredible levels of enthusiasm. But it was there for the taking. Right there.
And who knows where that would have taken me.
But that bird has already flown. Regret is an assassin. So the lesson is learned:
If you're starting out, you'll have to be scrappy. And eager. And excited. You may have to work for no money and even longer days. It might look ugly and you might think you're above all that. And it might be true. You might be above all that.
But I wasn't. I confused self-importance with reality. So do the work, play the looooong game, do whatever it takes,. Look yourself squarely and honestly in the eye. All the other stuff doesn't matter. Not the money, certainly not the title. Not any of that other crap at the outset.
What matters is the opportunity. Go for it.
Thoughts? What's your advice to your younger self?